btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
