The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
