Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
