I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
