STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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