As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
