I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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