i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Randomize
