I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
