I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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