I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
