I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think your dad took our porno
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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