I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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