I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
