i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
