I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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