making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
