Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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