sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
