my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
