just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
