Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
