Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
farters have to be the big spoon...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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