For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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