I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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