if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
