someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
