Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
