can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
