She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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