dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
