I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
