you have to choose: penises or morals?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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