well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We are two peas in an std pod
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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