I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
