we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
