Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
