I can tuck mytits in my pants
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
