i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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