Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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