What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think my mom watched the whole time
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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