I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
