I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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