dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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