Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
