How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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