8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
