I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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