i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
