Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
MIDGETS
????
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
