I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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