In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
